Jess' friend came over for the weekend, to see an IVE concert at the Prudential Center in New Jersey. It was a lot of fun, I've never been to a K-POP conert before. My favorite songs were REBEL HEART, XOXZ Bang Bang. We talked around a ton, walked all over Grand Central Terminal (did you know there's 3 floors deep?). We went to Central Park as well, and walked like half of it. I honestly wish I could've enjoyed it a little more. My feet and ankles began to hurt after a while.

Mentally, been feeling really rough as of recent. Finding a job since I've gotten here has been really difficult. Depression has a way of consuming days, weeks, sometimes months. A lot of places don't even respond either, making it just feel hopeless. I'm worried it's putting stress on Jess and I really want to find a job soon.

On Monday I plan to use Job Today, Indeed, and in-person visits to places to keep looking. I almost got a job recently, but they filled the spot after one day when I missed a late in the day email from them. That really sucked and really demotivated me.

On the upside, once I get another piece of mail I can go get my NY ID. I can make the photo look a lot prettier. Plus with a real ID, I can go to Canada.

Dysphoria has been better and worse. I'm back on Estrogen and it's made me feel better.

I want to put more money into taking care of myself with makeup and products. Need a job for that. I want to buy cute clothes for me to wear out Need a job for that. I want to go to the UK and meet some Civ friends. Need a job for that.

As you can probably tell, not having a job has been really bad for my mental health.

Anyway, I think that's about everything I wanted to go over. Not really sure how often I'll make these. I only made two today because I wanted to talk about my intentions with this blog.

Oh something I thought of that my therapist would always have me do is write small, achievable goals. "Plan for your worst day, not your best" So I wanna make these goals by next post (aiming for maybe Tuesday):

• Apply to 10 jobs
• Hello World in C++

~ CeceliaRabbit